Infection

Part 2

Written by Sailor Nova

Caden had been drifting in and out of sleep for the past several hours. The medicine they had given her to help heal the nerve endings in her shoulder made her drowsy, and the warm Naboo sunlight streaming through the window was not helping.

Since she had come here her sleep had been fitful, filled with disturbing dreams of death and dying. Herself, Anastasia, Naoya... Every morning she would awake to the slight sounds of her nurse serving breakfast, a dull, deep pain in her chest where in her dreams she had been stabbed, or shot, or her heart had been torn out of her ribcage -- whether literally or metaphorically.

Caden did not like these dreams. And she disliked what they meant even more than how they felt.

She tried to stay conscious by focusing on the exercises the doctor had instructed her to do for her new arm. Clench, unclench. Clench, unclench. He had called them 'muscle-strenghtening' exercises, but Caden knew that there were no muscles left in there. She wished that she could tell the difference, but in all honesty, she couldn't.

Her nurse, a sweet young thing by the name of Mena - who in any other circumstances she would have most definitely asked out for lunch - entered the room without knocking. She offered Caden a warm smile in greeting.

"You have a visitor, Miss Kozue."

Caden's heart skipped a beat. She had had many visitors in her short stay here, but those words got to her every time -- those words and all the potential behind them. She wasn't sure if she was that desperate to see him, or that terrified of facing him. It was probably a little bit of both.

"Who is it?"

"Her name is Ilié Ramaret." Caden's heart sunk more than she would have liked to admit. "Do you know her?"

"No," she answered, glancing out the window at the trees outside as they swayed gently with the breeze. "What does she want?"

"She comes at the request of the Queen." Caden did not reply right away, but Mena could read her military mind with ease, and answered her question before she was even able to ask it. "Her paperwork and identification all checks out."

Caden let out a deep sigh. She was happy for the interruption, but not happy that it came in the form of more talk of politics.

She turned back to Mena and returned her smile. "Thank you. You can let her in."

She watched Mena leave and stared at the doorway, listening for the sound of footsteps heralding her guest's arrival. She almost jumped when the woman noiselessly appeared in the doorway. "Miss Kozue? May I enter?" From her consonant-rich accent to the flowing pink silks she was wrapped in, she was all Naboo. She was young and beautiful; full of light and gentle on the senses in a way that only natives of this world could pull off. Her posture spoke of confidence -- she held herself with an authority that jarred slightly with her soft, rounded features and wide eyes. "I don't wish to disturb you. I can only imagine the ordeal you've been through here."

"No, it's fine. Please, come in," Caden gestured to the chair placed beside her bed, and made an effort to sit up straighter. It still pained her chest to do so, and she could feel the scar tissue of her gunshot wound stretching as she adjusted herself amongst the pillows.

"Oh! You poor thing!" The woman rushed forward, plucking a small pillow from among the others and sliding it behind Caden's back. Startled, Caden caught her eye, and the two held each other's gaze for a tense moment, until the stranger averted her eyes with a blush and patted Caden's shoulder, growing awkward with her own reaction. Her hands hovered as she stood by the bedside, unsure of what to do next. "I'm sorry," she blurted, blushing and fighting the sheepish-looking smile that threatened to overtake her face. She shook her head nervously, the scattered golden braids in her hair thrashing around her, and took a step back from the bed. Blinking her eyes and biting her lip to suppress a laugh, she finally dropped her hands to her side and bowed, gathering herself. "My name is Ilié Ramaret. It's very good to meet you, Admiral Kozue. I'm sorry to say I've come on Alliance business, but it probably isn't what you're expecting." She gestured to the open door. "May I?"

"Of course. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable." Caden narrowed her eyes at the visitor and unconsciously tilted her head as she pondered this woman's - Ilié's - strange reaction. Perhaps she was a Force user? Entirely possible. This encounter was quickly becoming interesting.

Caden watched as Ilié nodded and walked to the doorway, sliding the frosted-glass partition closed. She pulled a small metal device out of the folds of her dress and fastened it to the doorframe. Caden squinted her eyes to get a better look, and recognized it immediately -- a communications disruptor.

"Sorry," Ilié said, smiling as she walked back to Caden's bedside, finally taking a seat. "It's a very sensitive subject." She clasped her hands on her knees in a girlish gesture Caden found strange for a government official and an emissary of a queen. "As a military officer who understands the benefits of secrecy, I trust that you will keep this conversation private?"

"Naturally." She'd had many private conversations since coming here. The Alliance was trying their best to keep the entire incident under wraps. Security breaches such as this one were not exactly helpful for public relations. The citizens of the Alliance would be better off not knowing about how easily and seemingly effortlessly Naoya was able to circumvent security. However... communications disruptors? "Now, what is this about, Miss Ramaret?"

"Ilié is fine, if you wish," she said, offering another smile. "I'm the representative of a... group, scattered across the galaxy, who support the ideals of the Galactic Alliance while remaining a seperate entity. We are much like the Jedi, in that respect." It sounded very rehearsed, and Caden wondered how many others had been subjected to this kind of greeting. "We do not interfere with the day-to-day workings of the Alliance or exist under its sponsorship or patronage; we serve its ideals and its citizens, as well as the citizens of the galaxy as a whole. Our membership is not by invitation or selection. It is by birthright." She paused, falling out of her routine, and took a sharp breath, arching an eyebrow and venturing a gamble. "Have you ever heard the word 'senshi,' admiral?"

Oh. That.

Caden had wondered when someone would come to talk to her about... that. She had held out hope that perhaps no one had noticed, or no one had cared, or it had been dismissed as a problem with the security cams or another of Naoya's light tricks. It was not something she wanted to face. Truthfully, she was terrified of what had happened to her that day in the hangar. The intense heat blossoming in her chest and the terribly foreign yet strangely familiar passion it had unleashed in her was deeply unsettling. She didn't want to face the fact that this fire and fury was a part of her - had perhaps, always been a part of her - and didn't want to have to deal with, let alone think about, its implications. And on top of everything else that had happened...

Surely, she had questions. And she wanted nothing more than to put it to rest and forget about it altogether; but she was not entirely sure she wanted to hear the answers to her questions about Sailor Nova.

She let out a deep sigh, and glanced off towards the window, out into the wide plains of Naboo.

"You don't need to explain it to me. I know what they are and I know what happened and I don't want to talk about it."

"Would it give you comfort to know that there are others like you? Many like you?"

Caden cast Ilié a sideways glance. "Are you...?"

She nodded. "I am. I'm Sailor Naboo, Caden. And I've come to help you, if you'd like it. I know all too well how terrible it is to be alone and to struggle to understand it."

Caden pursed her lips. She didn't like how suddenly and fiercely she could be pushed into painful emotional corners like this. It was a new thing and she hated it more than anything else Naoya had done to her. Inside, her heart twisted itself into knots as the proud part of her stared down its miserable, lost, and lonely second half. She had come to realize over the past few days how utterly and absolutely alone she was now; this polite stranger's invitation of mentorship was so appealing. But she wasn't sure if her heart could bear admitting to another defeat -- if she could bear to ask for help, or if she could manage to trust anyone, even this woman, to actually give it to her. It was like salt on a wound, and she struggled to get the words of her rejection over her lips.

"Thank you, but I don't need anyone's help. I can take care of it myself. Thank you, Miss Ramaret." But even as she said it, her hands balled into fists, and her throat closed up, and she blinked tears from her eyes, that quickly rolled down her cheek to land among the sheets gathered around her waist.

It took a few more moments of agnonizing, embarrassing silence before one of them spoke, and when the silence was finally broken, it was her visitor. "I understand," she said. There were no ifs, no buts, no protests. "I brought you something." Caden heard something settle on the table next to her bed. "It's just a little gift. I hope you don't mind. It's custom here."

Because more sentimentality was just what this little meeting needed. Caden glanced quickly at the gift on the table; she didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to prolong this embarrassment for another second longer. But when she saw what had been placed there, she couldn't help but do a double take.

Caden furrowed her brow. It was... a stuffed toy. A stuffed Ewok to be precise, complete with fluffy golden fur and a crooked felt hat. It was holding in its paws a bright red heart, with something written on it. She couldn't quite read it from the angle she was seated at and reached out to pick the toy up. It squeaked as she grasped her hand around the middle.

'Get beary well,' it said.

A smile spread on her face like she hadn't felt in a long time. It began as a small grin, and grew into a beaming expression. She squeezed her fingers around the Ewok, and it let out another high-pitched squeak. Unable to contain her amusement, a fountain of feminine giggles erupted from her lips.

Ilié, who had already stood and begun to move towards the door, laughed as well, glad that her small gift had brightened the admiral's mood. "I'm glad you like it! I didn't know if it was too silly."

Caden caught her breath, and set the Ewok back down on the table, taking care to prop it up against her water glass so that its message faced her. A smile still on her lips, she turned to Ilié, who was packing the communications disruptor back into her bag. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it," Ilié said, nodding, "I hope you feel better soon."

"Thank you, Miss Ramaret. Give my respects to Her Majesty, the Queen."

"Of course." Ilié bowed one last time before ushering herself out the door, just as quietly and quickly as she appeared.

Caden glanced over at the stuffed Ewok on the side table and gave it a sad smile. Senshi, huh? She had heard the stories as a child. And she had certainly not missed out on the rumors of the recent sightings on Coruscant. She had never been particularly interested in such urban legends, and had always assumed they were mostly fictional. But she had known, that day in the hangar... she had known the instant it had begun, that all the stories, all the rumors and all the fairytales were true. And now, she was a part of them.

It was not a role she was ready to take on. Perhaps, in some other place and time, things would be different. But here and now she had other responsibilities; greater responsibilities, not only to her planet and her position but to herself. She got the feeling that there would be many difficult days ahead of her: days where she would be the one in dire need of rescue. She was certainly in no position to be a superhero. Especially not when it made her feel so helpless. It broke her heart, but she was no heroine.

She reached out and picked up Ilié's gift. If anything, Caden thought, at least she had seemed kind and trustworthy. It was a comfort, however minor, to know that there was someone there for her should she decide she needed guidance as to this whole... senshi thing.

The stuffed Ewok's glassy black eyes shone in the bright sunlight, and the crooked grin on its face almost seemed to widen at her as she stared at it. It was really quite adorable. Perhaps Adara would like one, once they were back to normal with each other. And a stuffed animal would make a cute gift for Mena as well...

"I wonder where she got it..." Caden grumbled, flipping the thing over in search of a tag or maker's mark.

There was no tag, but the bottom of the toy certainly did not disappoint, yielding instead a small compartment sewn into the Ewok's back, into which a small holochip had been inserted.

Intrigued, Caden pried it out and turned it on.

An image of a building blinked up -- a very strange building constructed with the most bizarre of architecture, the likes of which she had never seen before. Swooping curvilinear lines and circular motifs adorned all sides of the structure, which was overgrown by vines, weeds, and other such vile parasitic plants.

Ilié's voice crackled to life.

"Hello Caden. I hope that you have decided to join me and the gathered senshi forces on Coruscant. There is strength in numbers and we would love to have you with us, of course, but we will respect any decisions you make as to how to live your senshi life. Regardless of where you choose to live and do your work as a senshi, I am compelled to give you information about where to find me and the rest of the senshi that have assembled on Coruscant, should you ever need to contact us or find sanctuary. Contained in this holo is information about our, well, home base of sorts. As you can see, it is a long abandoned embassy, hidden away and untouched for centuries, that we have... re-appropriated. It is on sub-level 57, and the exact address is: F26-R19-298-335410; repeat, supersector F26, subsector R19, route 29--"

Caden shut off the cube before it could complete its message. She stared at it for a moment, eyebrows furrowed as if angered by its obsidian surface. She realized, glaring into her own reflection in the cube, that her hands were shaking. Nervously, she squirreled the holo into her bag of possessions beside her bed and returned the Ewok to its bedside sentry.

Caden took a deep breath and settled down into her bed. Her heart was in her throat again, and no amount of eye-rubbing and sighing would make it go back down. Not anymore. She pulled the sheets up to her chin and closed her eyes. If only she could return to the days when sleep would wash these feelings away.

That night, Caden had a dream that Naoya was her brother.

They were running through a wide plain, her in front, him behind; running to a dinner across the continent that they were terribly late for. It was an important dinner that could not be missed; she was going to meet his mother - their mother - for the first time.

What would such a woman be like, who had borne god's children?

They rushed through the grasses, their clothing whispering against the blades, towards an endless, perfect horizon. The grassland stretched out in every direction around them, no trees, no mountains, no settlements or buildings to mar it; just earth and sky, lying against each other, back to back, front to front, seamless.

They had been running for so long and there was still so far to go, but Caden had not tired. She felt as if she were flying, her feet barely touching the ground as Naoya pushed her forward with an insistent hand on her shoulder. Go, he said; and she went.

She ran like that for some time, sprinting through the meadow, listening to the sounds of her own breath, of his breath... she could have run through that field for eternity.

But they did not run for eternity.

Her heart skipped a beat when she felt his hand on her back, grasping at a handful of her jacket. She felt his fingers, winding through the cloth, tangling in it... he yanked her backward, she gasped, and the two of them toppled to the ground, loosing their balance and crashing into the fragrant soil.

When she finally opened her eyes again, he was there. Lying in the grass, his arm draped across her chest and her jacket caught in the iron grip of his fingers.

"Naoya..." she protested, before he cut her off with a finger to her lips.

"Shhh," he soothed, his eyes bright, "she's coming."

Around them, the grass began to whisper, bend, and bow under a strong breeze that swept across the prairie.

"What? Who?" she asked.

He smiled a warm, loving smile and raised himself up onto his elbows above her. His head blocked the sun now, obscuring his face in shadow, casting a glowing halo around him. His hair rustled in the breeze, and in the sky beyond him lacy clouds gathered, swirling into each other as if being blended by the gods. "I have to go, but I'll be back. Don't be afraid, Caden."

Around them, the wind grew stronger and began to whistle and groan, and the blue sky boiled with color, a glittering spectrum of gold, rose, and jade flooding across the firmament.

"No... please don't leave me," she pressed, suddenly terrified. "I can't go without you." She reached out for him, desperate, grasping tightly onto his arm. He felt strong and solid beneath the smooth fabric of his jacket, so grounded and so real it made her heart skip a beat. He put his hand over hers.

"I'll always be with you, Caden."

His words froze her voice in her throat. She looked up at him, and against a sky tearing itself apart, Caden saw him. For the first time, she saw him; saw him in all the ways that he had always seen her. Somewhere inside her, something drifted away, and all the rusted-together chains holding down her heart let go. Her rivers ran clean and she was absolved, here, under his gaze and under his touch. His eyes were resplendent, and the sight of them burned so brightly into her mind that they remained there, a smoldering afterimage, even as she closed her eyes and let him kiss her.

She gave in to him. Lightly, gently. She let go of her hold on herself and floated, weightless, to the surface of this feeling. The ground beneath her sighed as her muscles let go. The wind roared, the universe solved itself, and his breath whispered across her cheek. His mouth was sweet and soft even as his body was heavy and hard. He made no sounds, and, spare his lips, was still.

She was like a breathless girl again, never been kissed, trembling in want under the pressure of all the desires she had so long denied herself and now had no idea how to fulfill. She wanted his hands in her hair, wanted his arms around her, wanted his voice, his shoulders, and his back. But most of all she wanted to join him; he was on the edge of her, calling out for her, his blood singing to her, and the distance tingled in the bridge of her nose and the back of her neck. Yes -- it felt so natural as she began to move towards him; this was where she had to be. But as her tendrils reached him, tickled at the back of his throat and the bottoms of his feet, she found that he had already flown to god. Intangible, incorporeal, he had dissolved under her touch.

He was only a dream, after all.

In the morning, she woke with a terrible ache, empty and tight, in the pit of her stomach.

It was for the best.

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